Friday, March 27, 2009

Uh-oh time

So here's the thing. I'm unemployed. I was let go at the end of February from a well, from a really crappy job. No, that's not right, the job itself was fine, midlevel Marketing BS. It was the situation that was crappy. My old boss was a Mayberry Machiavelli (until I figure out how to embed a link, I'll do it, but until then you'll have to accept my explanation that that's what they used to call Karl Rove and his ilk, but more generically I'm referring to someone who fashions themself a great strategist/thinker when really they're a couple of elements short of a periodic table). She was a "couldn't be bothered with the details, until something goes wrong, in which case I'll be all up in your business about the details, but let's be clear that my hands are clean here because I didn't even know anything about this" type. There was enough dysfunction around me that on one hand, I'm glad to be free of that place, and (some of) the people.

But you know, no matter how hard you try to be the guy that doesn't get wrapped up in what can charitably be called a "career," losing a job hits you eventually. It's been 4 weeks today (coincidentally, it's also been exactly a month, since it was February), and I guess today's my day. Not sure what triggered it, but I was walking down the stairs, and I thought of a name. It was the name of someone I was supposed to call back in February for some consultation on...whatever the hell, it doesn't matter. But that led me to realize that I hadn't crossed that phone call off my mental to-do list. That led to a couple other things that I realized I was still thinking about. The results weren't good. For some reason, I started re-living a lot of the nonsense that went on there. I started thinking about the politics, the mind games, and the way people treated each other. I felt the familiar feeling of being lost with no help. See, you weren't allowed to ask for help, not that you'd get any if you did. I remembered how every assignment was vague, every project was open-ended.

At the grocery store, I saw a guy who I thought was someone from there. I was only off by about 20 years, 50 lbs, and a race. I have no idea what I'll do if I ever actually run into anyone. Thankfully, that only happened maybe 3 times when I worked there, and that was almost 4 years.

Clearly, I'm not as over this as I thought.

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